Leaving the House


Agoraphobia:
/ˌaɡərəˈfōbēə/ noun: extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving one's own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult.
Oxford Languages


Although typically associated with those suffering from a particularly severe form of panic disorder, that definition pretty much perfectly describes me when I was alone with my baby starting out. Getting out of the house with kids can be a production in itself. Dressing a young one in layers, getting socks and shoes on those tiny squirmy feet...and once you get out, you have to worry about eating, tantrums, and oh-so-many bodily fluids. My fear of disastrous outings, along with having survived a few so far, has led me to pay a lot of attention to other parents who make adventuring with children seem effortless, maybe even fun. Here's what I've gathered so far:

 

 

Anatomy of a Diaper Bag


Less is more! The more crap you stuff into your diaper bag, the heavier it's going to be and the harder it will be to find what you actually need when the moment strikes. Sometimes, just throwing the one or two things you anticipate using in your own purse or backpack is even easier than trying to carry another full bag. And if you are going to bring a diaper bag, consider throwing your own wallet/phone/whatever in there instead of bringing another bag for yourself. You have enough to carry.

*Organization Tip*: You don't always need the same stuff for every trip, so I keep a box with many of the common necessities in it near where I store the diaper bag. I also throw travel and sample sizes of items in there if they're lying around. Then when I pack the diaper bag for an outing, I choose only what I need from the box.

  • Diapers: enough that you reasonably think you'll use during the outing, plus one for good luck.
  • Wipes: You don't need an entire full pack to carry. One easy way to keep the wipes "flow" going is when the wipes on your changing table start to get low, transfer them to the diaper bag and replace with a brand new pack on the changing table. More available for your main changing station, fewer to carry on trips. Win/win. Wipes are like the duct tape of parenthood. They can fix almost any problem. Use them for messes of any kind, they are not limited to baby bottoms!
  • Plastic baggies: For dirty diapers, dirty bibs, dirty clothes, and leaky leftovers. They sell these for babies and pets, and my guess would be the pet ones are cheaper versions of the exact same thing.

 

 

  • A change of clothes: For young babies, because they always know the perfect time for a blowout. For older kids, because they know how to make a mess of themselves with dirt, food, or sand, depending on where you go. I usually go with PJs because that way you can also change them before a long car ride home and if they fall asleep on the ride that's one less thing to worry about on the transfer to bed.
  • Pacifier with a clip: Babies are absolute wizards at getting their pacifiers to fall on the floor. Especially if they are somewhere gross like a public restroom. 

 

 

  • Hand sanitizer: Washing your own or your child's hands in a sink is not always feasible...
  • Seating: Most restaurants have high chairs and booster seats, which is great. But sometimes you run into issues, like the restaurant (*ahem* bar) has all high-top tables and the high chair is pathetically low. So they have travel seats for babies! (I've also seen people use these for their kitchen island at home). I'm sure your basic Bumbo seat or even a booster seat would work just as well if you pop it on an appropriate-height adult chair. The other option, particularly if height isn't an issue, is to just bring the stroller in wherever you are going and keep your child seated in there.
  • Grocery shopping: There is the traditional seat in the cart for older kids, and some people opt to put a cover in this, which is totally a first-child kind of luxury. An infant car seat will usually fit in the bigger part of the cart if your baby is not sitting on his own yet. Or you can use the stroller: either keep groceries in the pocket below if you have one, or bring your own tote bags and attach them to the handle with a carabiner or "Mommy Hook." Just be careful you don't buy so much that you tip the stroller!

 

 

  • Potty Time: If you have a child that is just learning and you want to avoid accidents, or if you're going on a big road trip, I'd recommend a basic potty seat for the back seat. You can line it with a plastic grocery bag if you want to make poop clean-up as easy as possible. For public bathrooms, you can always just hold your child over the potty, but if you want to get fancy (or you don't have the ability to do that for whatever reason) you can also use a travel-ready folding seat size adapter so he can sit on his own.

 

 

  • Snacks: I happen to think that as Americans we are a little overzealous with the snacks. Your child can survive multiple hours in a row without eating. In fact, he will probably be more likely to try the healthy meal you prepare for lunch if he hasn't been snacking on goldfish and fruit snacks for the preceding three hours. But there are some moments when having snacks in tow can buy you some precious time and quiet. Good options for most ages are fruit, goldfish, cheerios, and "pouches." They sell snack holders meant for kids which may prevent some spills, but really any tiny Tupperware or sandwich bag is fine, too

 

 

  • Drinks: Keep in mind that water and milk are available almost anywhere you go, so you are unlikely to run into a dehydration emergency while you're out. Traveling with kids' drinks can be tricky because you have to think about temperature, a bottle/cup they know how to use, and preventing spills all over your beautifully-packed bag.
  • Cooling: Some diaper bags have an insulted pouch to keep bottles cold. Just add ice or an ice pack and you're good to go! Otherwise, a mini-cooler will work, too.
  • Heating: If baby prefers warm or room-temperature formula or breast milk, I recommend either bringing premixed "ready-to-use" formula that doesn't have to be kept cold, or finding somewhere that makes tea when the time comes to warm up your cold bottle (a gas station or cafe) and asking for a large cup of hot water to swirl the bottle in.
  • Drink-ware: Of course, if you're baby is still on formula or pumped milk, you're going to want to bring that in bottles. But even if you have a toddler, lots of restaurants and stores are only going to serve drinks in bottles or glasses, so it's good to have his preferred style of sippy-cup ready to transfer the liquids into.
  • Preventing spills: Test your drink holders' seals before risking them in your diaper bag! The very popular Munchkin 360 sippy cups will spill. If your bottles or sippy cups come with a cover, use it. *If you were wondering what those little white disks were that came with your Dr. Brown bottles, those go underneath the nipple while traveling to prevent spills. What I like to do with my 4-year-old for longer trips is keep his milk or water in a mason jar (or several) and bring a cover with a straw hole. It's spill-proof in transit, and transforms into something he can drink from easily.


 

 

  • Age-appropriate utensils: Especially for little babies who are just getting used to solids, when you order mashed potatoes at the restaurant and all they give you is a scary-looking metal fork that doesn't fit in your baby's mouth, you'll be glad you have an itty-bitty plastic spoon up your sleeve. If you have a messy eater, it's probably worth throwing a bib in the mix too.
  • Entertainment: This is another place where we tend to go overboard. Chances are, if you go to a restaurant, for example, your kid is going to be more interested in the coasters than the ten activities you brought with you. And if your kid knows you usually bring fifteen different toys around everywhere, he's more likely to reject the first fourteen you offer him. But here are some toys that do tend to travel well:
  • Suction toys: Suction to the table (sometimes...) so they're less likely to end up on the floor.
  • "Paint with Water": These are great because they are reusable and they don't make a mess!
  • McDonald's toys: I like to throw these in the diaper bags and keep them there because they are usually quite small and my kids don't notice that they're missing from the house.


 

 

  • Muslin cloths ("reusable diapers"): These versatile and cheap work-horses can serve as blankets, nursing covers, place-mats, swaddles, bibs, burp cloths, and of course, super-absorbent towels for clean-up.

 

 

Leaving on a Jet Plane


Transportation:

Getting from A to B is more complicated when you have to think about strollers and car seats.

  • Strollers: It's really nice to have a stroller in the airport so you can free up your hands. If you have a baby that's really good in a carrier like an ErgoBaby, you can probably get away with that as well, but we have always used a stroller. Most airlines will let you check the stroller at the gate for free, and that way you have it to use at your destination as well.


 

 

  • Car seats: This is going to be dependent on the child's age and what you have available at your destination.
  • If you have to take a cab or Uber to the airport, remember that many car seats will work with both the "LATCH" system and a seatbelt, so make sure to read the manual and/or watch a YouTube video so you're prepared to quickly get your kid situated in whatever type of car shows up.
  • If you have a child under 2, you can book him as a "lap infant" for free. If you will need a car seat at your destination, and you use one that clicks into your stroller, it's easiest to use that travel system and check the car seat at the gate for free along with the stroller. You can either pack and bring your car seat base, buckle the car seat into the car at your destination old-school style with the seatbelt, or send a base to your destination ahead of time (for example, if you're visiting your parents' house and think you'll be back frequently).
  • If you have a child under 2 and are traveling economy as a single adult, it can be really helpful to want to pay for them to have their own seat if your budget allows. This way you can bring them in the car seat which they are probably already comfortable sleeping in, if they fall asleep in the airport you don't have to wake them up, and you have room to put down your tray table or lean over if you need to get something from the diaper bag.
  • If you travel with a lap infant and already have a car seat at you destination, you can use a more compact stroller and gate check it and leave the car seat behind!


 

 

  • If you have a child over 2, he will need his own seat. Depending on his age and behavior, it can be really helpful to have a car seat in this situation because it keeps you from having to restrain him yourself while he attempts to explore the whole plane, climb over you to see out the window, and generally wreak havoc.
  • Most airlines have a place on their website explaining their rules regarding taking car seats on planes. Your car seat should say somewhere on it, or in the manual, whether it is an approved model for airline travel (most of the big names are). If the seat doesn't fit in the airplane seat, some airlines will actually move you to a row with bigger seats.
  • If you have a toddler style car seat (one that does not snap in and out of a stroller), a travel cart is a very handy tool you can use to make it act as a stroller in the airport. This way you can either bring it on the plane or gate-check it for free and have it to use at your destination. 

 

 

Luggage:

  • Good news: Most airlines don't count a diaper bag as an extra carry-on item. And remember, if you pay for a seat for your child, he gets his own carry on and personal item allowed as well.
  • Also keep in mind that breast pumps are considered a medical device, so they don't count as an extra personal item or carry-on either.
  • For older kids, there are lots of fun suitcases out there that are small enough for them to wheel around themselves. Backpacks work as well, and can double as a backpack for school.

 

 

  • Another fun option is a ride-on suitcase, especially if you might be in a rush to get from place to place in the airport. This super fancy one called JetKids also somehow folds out to turn an airplane eat into a bed...what?!

 

 

Food and Drink:


Everything from the "Leaving the House" section pretty much applies to an airplane. It's good to have appropriate cups and utensils so that whatever you buy can be easily fed to your child. Finger-foods and juice boxes are an easy alternative. *Just remember that kids love juice and will drink it insanely fast and then have to pee constantly. Here are some unique considerations for the plane:

  • Breast milk: Breast milk is an exception to the 3oz rule and can be taken through security. Some people recommend asking that it not go through the x-ray machine so as to avoid deactivating all the good antibodies that it's famous for. If you ask for this, just prepare yourself that the alternative screening process (testing the milk) may take a lot longer.
  • Formula: Formula can also go through security in amounts greater than 3oz. If it is not in a sealed container, they may want to test it which can take extra time.
  • Older babies and toddlers: whole milk, water, and juice are almost always available for sale inside the terminal after security. That's usually my first stop before going to the gate.
  • Timing: Particularly with young babies, where their whole schedule can seem to revolve around their meals, it's ideal to time feeding (whether it's nursing, bottle-feeding, or sipping something delicious from a cup) around takeoff and landing. Babies have teeny-tiny ears that can be especially sensitive to the pressure changes at these times. At least in theory, the act of swallowing should help regulate that "ear popping" sensation and make them more comfortable. At worst, it should offer them some soothing because it's something they enjoy to distract them.


 

 

Entertainment


If you've got a tablet for your baby or you plan on using the in-seat screen, consider getting over-the-ear headphones that your child will tolerate. We have an Amazon Fire Kids tablet which is a huge hit and very durable.


For toys, keep in mind that everything that can roll off the tray table, will. I try to avoid anything with small detachable parts (like jigsaw puzzles or crayons). I really love this tray table cover to help keep things in place. If you must bring crayons or markers, opt for the triangular kind that are less likely to roll.

 

 

When You Arrive:


Anticipating what you will have, and what you will need, at your final destination is a huge part of traveling with kids. The more you can have waiting for you at your destination, the less you will have to haul along with you while your hands are full of babies!

  • If you are going to a home (like Grammy and Grampa's house), it's helpful to have your hosts set up a few necessities ahead of time. Of course, if money and space are no object, you can just order everything you have at home for their place (check out the Gearing Up for Baby post), but that's not the case for most of us. Here are some tips for getting by while saving some space and cash:
  • Any table can be a changing table. Add a little basket for diapers, wipes, and lotions, a basket for dirty laundry, and some sort of trash receptacle so you never have to take a hand off your wiggly baby and you should be good to go. Lining a small trash can with grocery bags and changing it frequently will help control the stink. I usually put down the waterproof pad that came with our diaper bag and layer a few burp cloths or baby blankets over it for comfort and easy clean-up.
  • A Pack-n-Play (or any other brand's play yard), whether you bring it with your or have it ready when you get there, is usable for years and folds up neatly for storage when you leave. To make it more luxurious, you can always buy a mattress that fits right in. Luxury upgrade: If you have a baby who has become accustomated to the magic of the Snoo, you can rent it and have it delivered to your destination!
  • For young babies, at least one place to put the baby down when you need both hands, whether it's a bouncy chair, a swing, or a shallow basket with strategically-arranged blankets, is really nice to have and can be done inexpensively.
  • If a high chair seems too bulky or expensive, consider a booster seat with a tray to turn any chair into a high chair!
  • Check out the local community at your destination for opportunities to rent, borrow, or even accept hand-me-downs. There are lots of communities on Facebook (search for "Buy Nothing [Town or City Name]") with people looking to get rid of used baby items.
  • You can also have Grammy and Grandpa ask around if they know other grandparents in their community; often there are plenty of Pack-n-Plays to borrow.
  • I like to use Target or Amazon to ship ahead what I think I'll need as far as diapers, wipes, formula, etc. rather than try to pack it all. You can even send ahead some weather-appropriate clothes if you are traveling to a different climate and would be buying them anyway. Other relatively inexpensive things that it's nice to have another set of, rather than lugging them to and from your destination each time (particularly if you're a frequent visitor), are utensils, bottles, and sippy cups.
  • If you're having a bit of sticker shock trying to outfit another home for a baby, remember that many of these items can be used again for siblings and cousins!


 

 

If you are headed to a hotel...


  • If you're planning around a wedding or a night out and you worry that bedtime might become an issue, check out a website like Care.Com for trusted, reviewed, and background-checked babysitters in the area.
  • If you can swing it, a suite that has a separate room for the kids to sleep while you're still awake is really nice. In a pinch, you can also set up a pack n' play in a hotel bathroom. Finally, some people use "Slumberpods" which are basically tents that go over a pack n' play so kids can sleep without needing to turn all the lights off in the hotel room.
  • Call the hotel ahead of time or check our their website to see if they have cribs available to borrow to save yourself bringing your own.


 

 

Bon Voyage!