Closing in on the Big Day

Engagement pictures. Many wedding photographers will include these as part of a package. They can help you to get to know your photographer so you’re not meeting him or her for the first time on your wedding day. You can also use the pictures for things like your website, invitations, decorations at the venue, or thank-you cards.

Register. People typically expect that you have a registry out there somewhere and will ask about it. Traditionally, the registry is not included on the invitation, but the maid of honor, best man, and parents of the couple should know about it and know how to direct guests to it. It’s also very easy to find them if they are online by searching the couple’s names, or if it is linked in their wedding website. Some couples choose not to register, in which case they tend to get primarily checks as wedding gifts. You can register at one store or multiple, or register for an online service that essentially takes cash donations to be used toward something like a honeymoon. Those services are a little more personal than straight cash but they also charge a fee so that personal touch comes at a price.

Send out invitations. Ask for an RSVP a bit before your venue/caterer’s deadline for a final head count, because inevitably people will not get their RSVP back to you and you’ll be hounding them each for an answer. Even with a perfect head count, expect one or two people to either show up uninvited or bail at the last second. It’s just what happens.

Invitation specifics:

• It is traditional to word the invitation as the parents of the bride inviting the guests, but of course this makes less sense if they’re not the ones paying for the wedding.
• Be sure to include information on the rehearsal/welcome party, cocktail hour, reception, and any other events planned that you want the guests to attend.
• These days people often include a link to their website which has more information and links regarding things like hotel blocks and things to do in the area.
• Include an RSVP card asking for a meal choice and a number of guests. Include a deadline for RSVPs.
• Include a stamped, addressed envelope for guests to return their RSVP to make it as hard as possible for them to forget or procrastinate.
• Invitations often include a dress code. There are specific meanings to each dress code term so make sure you know what you’re asking! The term “formal” actually refers to more formal attire than you might think (like tuxedos and floor-length gowns) while most weddings these days are actually “cocktail” or “semi-formal” attire.

Food tastings. Many caterers and venues will host you for a chance to try the different menu items and narrow down what you want to offer guests. Most couples try to make a vegetarian option available. You can also ask your caterer or venue if they have a plan for guests who need gluten free meals or have food allergies.

Cake tasting. Many cake bakers will be able to create the outer look you want with just about any flavor of cake under the frosting. Some will also do different flavors on each tier. This is a fun way to decide which flavors you want to serve! Plus, free (sort of) cake.

Hair and Make-up trial. So you can test drive your look ahead of time and make any tweaks you want before the big day, many hair and makeup artists will offer a test run for the bride before the wedding. It’s usually helpful to have an image or two from Pinterest or even the salon’s website to give an idea of what you want.

Talk to your band or DJ. Make sure you’re on the same page about what you want them to play, what you don’t want them to play, how to pronounce names if they’ll be introducing people, and all those other details.

Make a seating plan. If you are planning on assigned seats, you will need to create a seating plan which can be one of the most challenging parts of planning a wedding. Here’s a good way to do it:

1. Get a big piece of paper or poster board and draw out the table layout plan, which is usually provided by the venue, including how many people you can fit at each table.
2. Write/print out the names of each guest, grouping them together by couples or other sets of people who *must* sit together. You can print it all on one piece of paper and then cut out the couples together. On each slip of paper, make a mark, write a letter, draw a picture, or whatever to indicate what “group” that couple or person fits with. For example, you might have a group for “Bride’s extended family” or “Groom’s college friends.”
3. Start playing with your slips on your game board, trying to keep slips with the same markings at the same table. If you have to have an “odd duck” that can’t fit at a table of their same category try to do that to couples (so no single person is stuck at a table with all strangers, unless it is a very outgoing single person who might enjoy that…). Also try to fit outliers together with other outliers that might share something in common, like people of the same age or from the same town. You can also think about flow, like putting your bigger drinkers closer to the bar, and if you have multiple levels in the venue, saving the stairs for the younger, more mobile crowd.
4. It will probably take a lot of trial and error, but when you finally get your seating chart perfected, it feels amazing. *Until someone calls with a last second change to their RSVP, of course.



Make a timeline. This will be KEY for organizing so many things. Your photographer, videographer, florist, guests, bridal party, DJ…everyone is going to need to know where to show up, and when. You should have a master timeline for yourself, and a few other timelines to provide your bridal party and your guests (less information is better, or people get confused). Here is a basic example of some timelines: